Welcoming Families From Around the World

Family’s country of origin:  Yugoslavia

Ways in which I will prepare myself to be culturally responsive towards the family 

1.      First and forth most, I would open up communication with the family.  If the family did not speak English, I would gain assistance accordingly.  When communicating, I would hope to make a connection with the family prior to their arrival.  I would ask the family about their child.  I would want to learn about their child’s interest, their family dynamics, traditions, values.  By showing interest, respect and an open heart prior to meeting them, I would hope they would feel comfortable upon our first meeting.  I would want to set a tone that I have an open-door policy, as well as I am supportive and I am willing to help in any way I can to insure a healthy transition. 

2.       I would also prepare the environment to the best of my ability to meet the child’s needs prior to their arrival.  I would communicate with the family if the child had any special needs or accommodations (i.e. diet, language).  I would also place certain items within the classroom that represented their country and culture in order for the child to have some familiarity and something to connect with.  I would encourage the family to share items that reflect their culture to place in the classroom as a learning tool as well.

3.       I would research their country and culture.  I think knowledge is one of the best tools to combat ignorance.  By having prior knowledge of the current events and history of their country or knowledge of different aspects of their traditions and customs, shows the family that I care and respect their culture.  Then I would have a connection with them when communicating.  

4.       Before the child started with our program, I would meet with the family in person.  During this meeting, I would again try to connect with the family and make sure the environment is sufficient for the child.  I would also take this opportunity for the family and child to tour the facility and to get familiar with classroom and staff.  The classroom would showcase different cultures as well as have a welcoming vibe.  If you create a learning environment within the classroom where the children are taught to be respectful and are encouraged to learn from each other’s differences, than this vibe will exude when present within the classroom.  I believe this helps with the child’s and family’s nerves and preparation on the first day.

5.       I would reflect upon my cultural identities and encourage my staff to do the same.  I believe you continuously need to work on your cultural competency.  Reflection is a huge step within the process.  By reflecting, you bring back the awareness to cultures and diversity.  You reflect on the ways you treat others.  People get in routines and do not have awareness of their daily actions; at times they may use microaggressions towards someone.  By bringing consciousness back to your actions you can make adjustments accordingly.  This would help to ensure myself, as well as the staff, is prepared to be culturally competent when the family and child arrived.

As stated above, I believe the preparations discussed will benefit both the family and myself.  I would hope these preparations make both of us feel comfortable and respected in order to communicate with each other.  Communication is a huge part of a child’s development.  If communication is present, then a strong relationship can develop and hopefully turn into a partnership between the family and myself.  This will allow both of us to talk freely and discuss what is appropriate for the child to ensure successful development and education.      

The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

A distinct memory from my childhood is when I experienced bias and prejudice resulted around my family’s economic status.  When I was eleven years old my group of friends was planning a “make over” party.  We wanted to all get together at someone’s house to basically put make up on each other, do each other’s hair and give manicures and pedicures.  One of the major details of the party was to discuss whose house we would gather for the party.  I immediately volunteered my house.  I knew my mother enjoyed participating in events like this and she would be on board.  When I volunteered my house, my girlfriends all kind of became quiet and seemed uncomfortable.  I did not pay any mind to it, until one of my other girlfriends said no; we will have it at my house.  Immediately, all of my girlfriends agreed.  In my mind, I did not understand and was quite taken back by the group’s enthusiasm because we would discuss how we hated going to her house because her mother was really strict and scary.  That night I went home and told my mother about our plans; she was extremely excited and talked about how we could set up our living room into a salon, etc.  The next day at lunch I told my girlfriends about the idea and asked if we could have it at my house.  Again, they became quiet. Finally, one of my friends spoke up and said “honestly Lauren, your house is not as nice as mine and it is really small”.  Then another one of my friends said “plus, my mother does not really feel comfortable with me going to your neighborhood, especially if we are sleeping over”.  I honestly was in complete disbelief and immediately became quiet.  

This incident was the first time I felt judged because of my economic status.  All of my friend’s parents had college degrees and lived in nice, middle to upper class, single family homes.  I on the other hand lived in a town-home in town.  Although it was not the nicest neighborhood, it certainly was not low class or considered the “bad” part of town.   I remember my parents did what they could financially.  There were definitely times going to the grocery store that my parents would not let us get Dunk-a-roos because it was not on the list and we could deviate from our strict budget.  Although, I remember my parents talking about money being tight and I never considered myself “poor” or “low class”.  

After this incident with my friends I started to reflect and compare my life to theirs.  I realized they all had nicer clothes, possessions and houses.  Their parents were more educated and had better careers.  With that being said, the worst comment my friends made was when they said their parents did not feel comfortable with them coming to my neighborhood.  Their parents had never even been to my neighborhood, nor had they met my family.  They completely judged my parents based on their economic status.  Then they made a stereotype and a bias regarding our economic status. 

This incident made me become self-conscious of my family and envious of my friends.  I felt inferior to them.  I no longer felt like they respected me and I was an equal within the group.  I remember babysitting non-stop to make my own money in order to buy brand named clothing and to go ice-skating every Friday because that is what the popular, respected, middle-upper class students did and wore.  The sad part about this situation was instead of me standing up for my family and being proud of my parent’s accomplishments, I became ashamed of them.  Also, instead of realizing my friends were not my true friends, I tried even harder to fit in and receive acceptance.  Looking back on the situation now, I would have handled the situation completely different.  However, at the time I felt the pressure of what the dominant culture considered acceptable.  

In order for this incident to have had resulted in greater equity many factors would have had changed.  I believe it started with my friends.  Their perspective of me and my family based on my things and house would need to be different.  I believe their perspective stemmed from their parent’s perspectives and judgments.  My friend made the comment “my mom does not feel comfortable…”, therefore I believe her parents had influenced her perspectives and judgments.   I believe their parents attitude and judgment is a result of the dominant culture’s attitudes in our society.  The dominant culture and our society are made up white, middle-upper class, educated people.  Both of my parents had not received a college education and our house and possessions did not reflect those of someone of the dominant culture.  The dominant culture has made biases on people of lower economical status.  Therefore ultimately this situation’s equity results from the dominant culture and the dominant culture would need to completely change their perspectives in order for people in our society to change their biases and judgments.  

Practicing Awareness of Microaggression

Practicing Awareness of Microaggressions

Microaggressions happen daily in our society.  Microaggressions can be made toward one’s gender, race, sexual orientation, ability or religion (Laureate Education, Inc., 2011).  Microaggressions are delivered by one consciously or unconsciously through multiple forms that cause damage to another person (Laureate Education, Inc., 2011).  Microaggressions come in three forms: microassaults (purposeful act), microinsults (demeans ones racial heritage), microinvalidations (invalidates ones experience) (Laureate Education, Inc., 2011).  

Studying microaggressions this week has brought me a new found awareness and alertness towards microaggressions. I hear them everywhere now; whether I am in a social setting with my friends, at work or watching the television.  It is astonishing how unaware individuals are with how often they offend someone or a make an “ism” comment.  Yesterday, my husband and I went out to dinner with a group of friends. One of our friends is an Asian male.  We were all discussing taxes and one of the white males at the table said to him “Hey, X, you can help me with my taxes, you are good with numbers and math, right?” The Asian male said, “Funny you say that, I was better at literature in school”.  The white male then proceeded to say “that cannot be, if you are Asian then it is in your blood”. The Asian male then gave a slight smile and replied with “yeah, yeah”.  It was obvious by the Asian’s response that he felt uncomfortable and offended by the comment.

The previous example is an example of a racial microaggression in the form of microinvalidation.  I do not believe the white male intentionally wanted to hurt the Asian male.  They are friends.  I believe the white male thought he was making a playful joke.  Most of the friends at the table laughed in response to the white male’s first comment regarding the taxes.  Once the Asian told him he was not good at math, the white male completely invalidated his feelings.  The white male totally disregarded the Asian male’s comment and told him he was wrong.  He then proceeded to lump the entire Asian population into one stereotype; “all Asians are good at math”.  He also insinuated that the Asian male could not identify himself as an “Asian” if he was not good at math.  Again, I do not believe the white male had any knowledge of what he was actually doing or what feelings he was actually creating within the Asian male.  

Being an observer of this scenario, I felt for the Asian male.  If the white male would have continued with one more comment, I would have stepped in and told him it was enough.  I debated whether to say something or not because I did not know how the Asian male would respond.  Would he feel even more belittled because someone else fought his battle?  Would he be more embarrassed because he was hoping no one caught on to his discomfort during the situation?  Would he be happy and grateful that someone finally realized these comments are hurtful?  I realized in this situation I have heard my friends make Asian stereotypes numerous times before toward him.  I honestly froze in the situation.  I observed the discomfort from the Asian male, which in turn made me feel uncomfortable.  

Overall, this experience brought the people’s feelings and thoughts that are discriminated against on a regular basis more into perspective.  Although, I was not the one receiving the microaggression, I immediately felt offended and uncomfortable when hearing the comments made.  It also caused me to think, how often do friends make other friends feel uncomfortable?  We are a group of friends who are supposed to care for one another and support one another.  However, we are throwing around racial stereotypes and forms of microaggressions toward one another.  It is alarming to think of…if a group of friends are doing this to each other, then how often do microaggressions occur between strangers?  

As a society we MUST be more conscious of our words and thoughts.  The saying, “think before you speak” is vital when conversing with others, especially if the others are culturally different than you. If everyone became a little more conscious of their comments, I believe we would live in a more peaceful world.

REFERENCE

 

Laureate Education, Inc. (Executive Producer). (2011). Microaggression in Everyday Life. (Video   webcast). Retrieved from    https://class.waldenu.edu/webapps/portal/frameset.jsp?tab_tab_group_id=_2_1&url=%2Fwebap      s%2Fblackboard%2Fexecute%2Flauncher%3Ftype%3DCourse%26id%3D_4211916_1%26url            3D