Relationship Reflection
Relationships are not tangible. You cannot buy a relationship, nor are just
given a relationship. I believe
relationships are the one thing in life that you have to work for and
continually need to work on. Due to the
amount of work that goes into creating and sustaining relationships, a
relationship holds the highest importance in my life. There is nothing else in
life more meaningful or satisfying than positive relationships, which
ultimately blossom into partnerships.
There are multiple relationships that are important to me in
my life. In order for me to constitute a
relationship as “important”, the relationship has to impact me, the
relationship has to cause me to reflect upon myself, and it has to change and
mold who I am as a person for the better. My parents, husband, and closest
girlfriends are the most important relationships that come to mind. I would actually consider these relationships
as partnerships.
An important relationship
that may be out of the normal for most people was the relationship I had with
my former supervisor of six years. I met
her when I was 22 years old. I had
experience working with children (tutoring, babysitting, ABA therapy with
autistic children) and had “taught” in a daycare setting for the previous 8
months, but I have an undergraduate degree in Psychology not Education. I did not have any formal training in
education. I only had a passion for
children and a determination to succeed.
After a 3 hour interview and a 45-minute lesson plan, my former boss
gave me a chance to teach Kindergarten.
Through my time spent with Blake Farm Dayschool, I taught Kindergarten
for 3 years, a combined class of 1st-2nd for 3 years,
mentored teachers, developed a preschool curriculum and for two years worked as
the Educational Director for the Lower. All of this happened because my
supervisor believed in me. It was never
a thought of mine prior to become a director, mentor, trainer etc. She saw key leadership qualities within me
and after two years, she started mentoring and training me for success. Her constant support, insight, motivation and
belief lead me to the Early Childhood Leadership program with Walden
University. The “job” I took as a
kindergarten teacher turned into a “career” and ultimately a passion for early
childhood education. I believe “my
calling” in life blossomed from the positive relationship I had with my boss.
My goal is to own an educational preschool one day. I know my goal will be reached in the future
because of the relationship I developed with my boss and the partnerships I
have with my husband, parents, and girlfriends.
Relationships have to develop and continue to develop
throughout the duration of the relationship.
If the relationship does not continue to grow than more than likely it
is over. Like I previously stated, you are not given a relationship. Relationships take time to develop. Key factors or common characteristics that
have helped develop and sustain all of my important relationships
(partnerships) are: trust, vulnerability, common interests, communication,
mutual experiences, love and respect. I believe many of my relationships have
blossomed because both parties shared a common interest. Once the interest was established then
communication and mutual experiences can develop. Through these experiences and communications
you develop trust, love and respect for the other person. When you have trust, love and respect for
someone you naturally become vulnerable through the process. To me, being vulnerable is when your
relationship turns into a partnership.
Vulnerability is the ultimate goal and glue to a partnership. Being
vulnerable means you are not afraid to share your deepest feelings, thoughts,
dreams, concerns, challenges, and desires in life. You are not afraid because you trust the
person to have your best interest at heart, no matter the situation. You are not afraid to communicate and share
experiences with them because you know the person loves and respects you. All of the factors work together in building
and maintaining a partnership. You
cannot have one factor without the other. A relationship may have some of the
factors mentioned above or all of the factors but the factors are not as strong
as in a partnership. In order for two
people to have a partnership, they need to have all of the factors present.
Relationships are a two-way street. Both parties involved within the partnership
must value and contribute the factors listed above equally. If one party does not respect the other party
as much, or if one party is not open to communication, being vulnerable, etc.,
than the relationship will have challenges and may ultimately decease. It is in
our nature to protect ourselves. To be 100% vulnerable in a relationship is a
rarity. When I have experienced
challenges or difficulties in my relationship, the challenge usually stems
because one party is not being vulnerable. They are afraid to truly communicate
their needs at that time. When both parties equally work on communicating,
sharing interests, sharing experiences, trusting, respecting, loving and being
vulnerable than it is easier to work through challenges and maintain a solid
relationship.
Being a professional in the Early Childhood community is all
about developing relationships. As a
professional you develop relationships with children, parents, programs, co-workers
and the community. If a relationship is
not established than you have failed as an educator. Developing a partnership with the child and
the child’s family is when you will see the most success from the child. Having
positive partnerships in my personal life allow me to understand what
characteristics and factors are necessary to developing solid relationships in
my professional life. The factors that
make positive relationships in my personal life are the same factors that will
make positive relationships in my professional life. There needs to be trust, respect, love, and
communication within the relationship with the child, parent, community, and
program in order for the relationship to develop successfully. The common interests of the parties involved
with the educator should be for the child to succeed. Everyone needs to equally
work together on the factors to create the success for the child.
Lauren, we do need positive people around us everyday in order to be emotionally, spiritually, and physically happy and to thrive. I like how you stated that relationships are not given, that they take time to develop. Relationships help us to understand who we are and makes us feel a part of something larger than ourselves. It is also important that both sides are willing to listen first to understand. So many people go into a relationship with unrealistic expectations which can turn out to be an unhealthy relationship. A healthy relationship takes effort, including good communication, conflict resolution, and stress management. You have accomplished quite a lot on your journey to teaching children. I believe you will reach your goal one day.
ReplyDeleteHi Lauren,
ReplyDeleteI loved the way that you started your blog about how you cannot buy a relationship, that it has to be earned. I like that this has made you see that you need to reflect upon yourself. I could say that I felt the same way. It's hard to look inside your own life and think about who has improved your inter-self. I am looking forward to reading mor of your blogs throughtout this class. Charity
Hi Lauren,
ReplyDeleteI agree that relationships are earned. A relationship is not a one way street. In order to have a strong relationship, we must work constantly to develop that relationship. Everyone involved must commit themselves to making the relationship better each day. A relationship must grow. A relationship that is twenty years old, should be much stronger than the first day that it was started. It is important to trust each other and have respect for each other.
Lauren,
ReplyDeleteYou are so correct in that relationships are earned and to enjoy the ones most meaningful we have to take the time to cultivate them. It is always great to have friends or mentors that can see something more than what we envision for ourselves. It is even better when we have the courage and foresight to actively listen. I always like to think of relationships as a tree; there are roots, branches and leaves and each relationship we encounter can have a little or sustaining affect on our lives.
Lauren- I love that you discussed vulnerability as part of a relationship. So many times people see vulnerability as a weakness, that should not be shown. But, in a positive relationship, showing vulnerabiltiy can actually bring people together.
ReplyDeleteLauren,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your blog, thank you so much for putting so much time and effort into it. Your right, relationships aren't earned and takes much effort to keep them lasting and meaningful. I've had quite a few former bosses that have helped me in my career by believing in me and I am so grateful for those professional relationships. I liked how you wrote about relationships being vulnerable, you are totally right. I never really looked at it that way. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!