My Family Culture

It is hard to imagine being forced to move to a completely different culture with no prior knowledge regarding the culture.  I have only been exposed to one culture.  Even now that I am married, my husband and I share similar family cultures and backgrounds’; therefore, being exposed to his culture has not broadened my awareness either.  It seems the scenario would be extremely scary due to the lack of control over the situation and the “unknown”.  

If I was told that I could only bring three small items to represent my family culture with me to the new culture where I would reside, I would choose a picture of my family, the book, The Missing Piece by Shel Silverstein, and my wedding ring.

I would bring a picture of my immediate family.  The picture would be a family photo from my childhood that had my mother, father, brother and my childhood dog included in the photo.   The photo captures the support my family unit has.  My brother is being held by my mother and my father is holding my hand, while my parent’s arms are around each other and my arm is around our dog.  My reasoning for bringing my family picture is to represent my family culture. My family culture is considered a SNAF family (The Standard North American Family).  It consisted of a heterosexual husband, wife, and biological children who live under one roof (Harris, 2011).  Harris describes how many cultures have different family values and different views/beliefs in regards to kinship (2011).  In my family culture, my parents believed/encouraged my brother and I to marry the opposite sex before having children.  They always instilled the value and importance of the husband and wife relationship.  They modeled and communicated the challenges and benefits of this relationship and taught me that no matter what challenge or struggle you are faced with, you had your significant other and family to lean on for support.  “Family” was a unit that was not to be broken, no matter what life circumstances came your way.  Throughout the years, I have always had my parents to support me through life’s biggest challenges.  I hope to one day instill these same values upon my new family.

The second item I would bring with me would be the book, The Missing Piece, by Shel Silverstein. As a child, my parents read to me every night.  My favorite book at bed time to be read was The Missing Piece.  I loved singing the missing piece song with my family and hearing the message behind the story. To give you a little background, the book is about a circle who is missing a piece.  He spends his life searching for his missing piece.  He finally finds a piece that fits him just right, but he realizes how the piece has changed him and decides he is better off without the piece and he is perfect the way he is.  After the story time my mother would always share stories with me regarding her childhood and the struggles she faced.  She shared how as a child she felt she did not belong at times.  She shared how she was shy, misunderstood and self-conscious. She did not want me to experience the same challenges as she did.  Both of my parents encouraged me to develop my own self-identity. They encouraged me to be independent and strong. My parents encouraged me to try new things until I figured out what my passions were in life.  They instilled within me to believe in myself and to be self-sufficient.  I believe the book represents the message, beliefs, and values of my family culture.      

The third item I would bring is my wedding ring.  In my family culture a wedding ring represents a commitment to your partner.  In my culture a wedding band symbolizes to society you have taken vows and commitment to a partner. As I stated earlier, my family culture is huge on partnerships, unity and commitment.  The ring represents my family values but it also represents my new family’s values.  It represents the new family culture I have created with my husband. When we decided to marry, we took vows that expressed our values, beliefs, emotions, and new traditions we would create for our future.

Upon arrival of this new culture if I was forced to give up two of the items I had brought, I would be devastated. I cannot imagine someone telling me to get rid of a picture of my family, the book, or my ring.  All of the items are huge symbols of my family culture.  Taking these items away from me would be taking a piece of my soul away from me.  I know I would still have my memories, but it is easier to relate and describe culture to someone when you have tactile things.  As a teacher when we learn about different cultures within the classroom, the children learn best when they can taste the food, hear the music, see pictures, and act out the traditions, etc. 

Overall, this exercise has made me reflect upon my family values and beliefs.  When I thought of my family culture, I did not automatically think about what food we ate, what holidays we celebrated, or what music we listened to.  I thought about the values and beliefs my parents instilled within me as a child.  I thought about the ways my parents interacted with me as a child.  How they raised me.  How we handle struggles and conflicts.  What was considered important within my family?  What roles the members of my family had?  What traditions we had? After thinking about my family culture in this context, it made me realize that culture does go beyond food, holiday, costumes, and dance.  I agree, that within the education world, educators usually only touch upon the “surface culture” when teaching the concept of culture to our youth (Laurenette, Inc, 2014).  Educators definitely need to deepen children’s understanding of culture by teaching about the values, roles, emotions, religion, history, community, relationships, work, beliefs, language, etc.(Derman-Spraks & Edwards, 2010).  As that is what culture is truly about.   

Derman-Sparks, L., & Edwards, J. O. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. Washington, DC: National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC).

Laureate Education, Inc. (2011). Family Cultures: Dynamic Interactions. Retrieved from https://class.waldenu.edu/webapps/portal/frameset.jsp?tab_tab_group_id=_2_1&url=%2Fwebapps%2Fblackboard%2Fexecute%2Flauncher%3Ftype%3DCourse%26id%3D_4211916_1%26url%3D